I gravitate between two extremes – being exceedingly messy and being excessively organised. The strange thing is that the interior of my wardrobe, desk drawers, bath cabinet and work cupboards are perfectly arranged – the coat hangers are all identical and facing the same direction; the clothes are coloured blocked in themes and in seasons; my hair products are together, the shoes are colour coded in their original boxes and so on. However, the floors have stuff strewn all over them. If my life were a movie then these images would be a symbolic reflection and representation of my character – you'll all have to figure out what it is for yourselves. But let me cut to the chase...
I had an interesting email discussion today with two hugely talent artists/graphic novelists about dysfunctional people in this world, the latter of whom hold grudges and plot revenge over slights and challenges to their self-proclaimed mystique. Then, while I was cleaning out a box, I coincidentally discovered an article I had clipped about ten years ago during my therapist days. It had appeared in a throw-away Sydney-city magazine full of ads, but it was astute and concise enough to summarise a lot about what I had been thinking, and use it as a learning tool for some of my clients. Alas, I do not know who the author is/was as their name did not appear on my original ragged and torn copy of the magazine – I actually rang the mag a few weeks later to find out who had written the piece, but the person I spoke to hadn't the slightest idea of what I was talking about. So to the author of the piece I am about to duplicate, I hope you will grant me permission in spirit to spread your words of wisdom around to the Black Mermaid readers:
The Good the Bad and the Ugly
When self-confidence crosses a certain threshold it turns into narcissism. Therapy today is concentrating on separating the 'healthy' aspects of narcissism from the 'unhealthy' ones.
Healthy: Feels good about oneself, even if others criticise.
Unhealthy: Needs constant buoying up from others to have a sense of wellbeing.
Healthy: Copes with life's many setbacks, although may be thrown off balance for a short time.
Unhealthy: Reacts to the hurts and injuries of life with fits of depression or rage.
Healthy: Feels confident about his or her own talent.
Unhealthy: Needs to feel superior to everyone else, and seeks out recognition for that superiority.
Healthy: May be stung by criticism, but the hurt soon passes.
Unhealthy: Incensed by criticism and broods for long periods about it.
Healthy: Appreciates praise, but does not live for it.
Unhealthy: Has an insatiable craving for adulation; seeks compliments to feel momentarily good about oneself.
Healthy: Self-esteem is unfluctuating, even after rejection, disapproval or personal attacks.
Unhealthy: Reacts to rejection, disapproval or attacks with bitter rage or deep depression.
Healthy: Does not believe he or she is entitled to special or favoured treatment.
Unhealthy: Feels entitled to special treatment because they are not ordinary.
Healthy: Is sensitive to the feelings of others.
Unhealthy: Is insensitive to what others need or feel.